As far back as I can remember, the only person I could count on was my Mom. She was always there when I needed her and would give anything to ensure I didn’t go without. As consistent and reliable as she was, there were a couple times she didn’t show up when she said she would.
I don’t remember if it was after school or after a practice of some sort, but she completely forgot to pick me up. I sat in front of the school for what seemed like eternity. Eventually she drove up, very apologetic of course, and we went home. I still give her a hard time about this, I mean, how could she for get me?
I can remember the second time she didn’t show up like it was yesterday. I was walking from the locker room after basketball practice to front doors to be picked up. I turned the corner from one hallway to the next, I could see the front doors of the school from here. As I approached the doors, a strange woman entered the school and came right to me. She said, “are you Ryan Weldon?”. I was shocked she knew my name, but “yes” seemed to just pop right out. She continued, “your mother and brother have been in a car accident, I was sent to bring you to the hospital.” A state of confusion rushed over me and all I could do was blindly trust that this woman was telling me the truth, so I went with her.
Different thoughts raced through my brain, scenarios of what would happen. Would she be okay? What would happen if she died? My brother was with her, is he okay? The reality of potentially losing the only consistent presence in my life overwhelmed me.
Once you’ve lost certainty in something or someone, mistrust and pessimism has a tendency to guide your life. Nothing permanent happened to my mom or brother that night, they’re still around and healthy. But that night, someone I thought would always be there, could have been taken away. That possibility was the only thing I needed to never give myself completely to anyone or anything. I decided that I never again would be caught off guard. Always planning for the worst, building walls between myself and close relationships, never being completely loyal to anyone or anything.
When I was 19, someone introduced me to this guy named Jesus. I started learning about Him and reading about His promises. Not only reading what Jesus said, but what others said about Him, “For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.”(2 Timothy 1:12) And this, “And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.” (1 John 5:11-13)
Somehow, I ended up giving my life and complete trust to Jesus. One last chance to trust in someone who will never let me down, never leave me alone, never stop loving me. It was a big step, but at the end of the day, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Now I hold on to His promises. He is my assurance, lifting the weight of my self induced burdens from my shoulders.